Kakashi's Birthday
by The Fellow Marauder
Summary: TANJOBI OMEDETO, YAMI! Kakashi has a birthday coming up, so he tricks his minions into getting him a present, making it a ninja test. When Naruto fails... well, just read and see! Muahaha. R&R!


This is a birthday present for Cyeshinni. Even though it's two days late. But it's her fault the story'd late, not mine. Heehee.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I _am_ him!

"Tomorrow is my birthday."

"Honto ni?" Naruto asked excitedly. "Does that mean you're going to get us presents?"

"No, baka!" Kakashi exclaimed, picking up a nearby rock and throwing it at Naruto.

"Itai!" Naruto exclaimed, clutching the spot on his head where he had been stuck.

"You are going to be _me_ presents!"

"EH?" Sakura exclaimed. "But, sensei, where are we supposed to find present on such late notice? We don't even know what you'd like!"

"I think that's what he planned." Sasuke sneered. "He wants to laugh at us when we don't succeed."

"Well, yes," Kakashi admitted. "But I expect you, as students, to exalt me and think of me as your greatest sensei. To show this, you will buy me one present each. We will have a little party tomorrow."

"Ooh, a party!" Naruto said happily, a smile crossing his features. "With cake and decorations and everything?"

"Food and drink will be supplied to those who pass."

"Huh?" Naruto asked. "Pass?"

"It's a test." Sasuke grumbled.

"A test?" The golden-haired ninja yelled. "It's your birthday and you're giving us a test? Hidoi(how cruel)!" Kakashi smirked.

"Very nice, Sasuke-kun. You saw through my plan. Yes, this is a test. After all, you are still my subordinates, so I have to technically be teaching you something. It is a test to find out what you would get me. Like Sakura said, you really don't know what I would want. It is your job as elite ninja to figure that out. Dismissed." With that, Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto all dispersed. Sakura thought about what Kakashi would like best while Sasuke just scowled, walking away. Naruto headed in the opposite direction of the other two and was complaining.

"Kuso. Kuso. Kuso-kuso-kuso!" Kicking up dust, he put his hands roughly into his pockets as a frown succumbed his face. "I don't know what to get him! How the hell am I going to pass this test!"

All evening, the three ninjas wandered the market and shops within Konoha village. Sasuke was looking for some new form of weaponry. Sakura viewed the scrolls and decorations in the window shops as she passed by. Naruto wandered around, popping in and out of every ramen shop he passed for a new bowl. "What to get, what to get..." The kou-ninja muttered between bowls of noodles. "What would Kakashi like?"

"What are you mumbling about over there, Naruto-kun?" One of the shopkeepers asked while washing dishes. Naruto conveyed his little problem.

"Kakashi-sensei's birthday is tomorrow and he asked us to give him a gift. But he says it's a test and I don't know what to get him...!"

"Ah," The shopkeep got the general jist of things. "So, all you need is a present for your teacher, right?"

"Hai." Lifting his chopsticks to his mouth, noodles were (once again) stuffed in.

"Well," the shopkeep inquired, putting down a bowl before picking up another to wash. "What does this guy like? What does he do for hobbies?"

Naruto shrugged. "Picks on us." The old man laughed.

"No. Does he read? Does he like to train?"

"He does read this one book..." Naruto replied, wracking his brain for the name of it. "_Come, Come Paradise_!" Upon hearing the name, the man flushed. Naruto looked at him quizzically. Not having read it himself, he was not aware it was almost the equivilant of hentai.

"Eh? Nani?" he inquired upon the old man's face. Poking him lightly with his chopsticks, he said, "Oi! Ouji-sama!"

"Huh?" The man was taken from his fantasizing state and violently shook his head before clearing his throat. Naruto still eyed him with confusion. "Oh, right. The gift. Give him another copy of that book."

"But he already has three."

The old man gulped and the wannabe-Hokage swore he saw drool on the man's lips. "Honto ni?"

"Uh... hai." The devoted shinobi felt a little uncomfortable. And, since the man was still dazed, he slipped out of the ramen shop without paying. He had no money anyway.

The next day, a little after noon, all four of them met at their usual spot. Kakashi was ready and waiting for his gifts. Sasuke was the first to step forward. Unwrapping the present, Kakashi whistled in appreciation. "A brand new Sword in the Mist. Very nice, Sasuke-kun. I needed another one. Thank you." Not saying whether he had passed or not, he ushered Sakura to come forward. Anxious as to whether he would accept the gift or not, she had nothing else to hand to him. She gave him the little bag she had handmade herself.

"I hope you like this, sensei. I know it is not much, but..." From within the bag, Kakashi pulled out a single flower, a new CD and a mini box of chocolates. Frowning in consideration, he decided the present was profitable. Putting the flower in his hair, he opened the box of chocolates and popped one into his mouth. As before, he did not tell whether she had passed or failed.

And the last one to give a present was Naruto.

Rushing up, he handed over the gift, sure that Kakashi would give him an "A". He had mental images of Kakashi thanking him and fawning over him, saying things like, "Oh, Naruto-kun! You are so considerate!" or "Naruto is the new Hokage! Kick out Tsunade and anyone else who dares get in his way! NARUTO IS THE NEW HOKAGE!" And then they would have an Uzumaki Naruto Day Parade and everything would be right in the world. Thus, smiling, he waited in anticipation for his sensei's reaction. Kakashi unwrapped the gift and out fell a volume of _Come, Come Paradise_ (for, evidentally, there was more than one). Picking it up, he studied it and took several moments to deliver any kind of positive or negative feedback. Finally, he sighed.

And things did not look good.

"BAKA!" He exclaimed before throwing the book at the head of the shortest ninja present. The book left a red mark on his forehead. "I already have this copy! You fail!"

Those words rang over and over again within Naruto's head. _You fail! You fail! You fail! You fail!_ "NO!" He cried. "_Please_, sensei! Why am I the only one to fail! I got you something you like! Those two didn't, and you didn't say they failed!"

"Yes..." Kakashi agreed. "But I don't like you." Naruto collapsed.

"DOUSHITE?" He screamed at his teacher, tears of frustration in his eyes. "I do better than those two and yet you _still_ have no respect for me! I want to pass! Let me pass, dammit!"

"Well..." Kakashi considered. "There is _one _thing you could do to pass."

"What? What?" Naruto exclaimed. "I'll do it! Just tell me!"

"You have to be my slave for the day."

Silence.

"...nani?"

"You have to be my slave for the day." The elite shinobi repeated.

"No way!" Uzumaki screamed. "I won't do it!"

"Naruto..." Sakura tried to reason with him. Sasuke didn't care whether Naruto succeeded; just as long as he had passed.

"No!" Naruto objected. "I refuse!"

"Then you don't pass." Kakashi told him simply. "Be my slave and pass, or don't be my slave and fail. It's your choice, Naruto-kun."

So, sucking in all his pride, he bit down on his lip before agreeing to the said terms. He would be Kakashi's slave for the remainder of the day.

Throughout the afternoon and far into the evening, Naruto was dressed in a typical Japanese-style waitress outfit. He served Kakashi lemonade by the shade and brought him his book, rubbed his feet and fed his dogs (two of whom thought Naruto's ass to be very tasty, for they would not let go). Kakashi even lent his special maid to Sasuke and Sakura, so he was of use to them as well. All day, Naruto amazingly kept his temper.

When the sun had set and the temperature had cooled, Kakashi finally agreed that Naruto had done enough. When the golden-haired ninja took off the getup and replaced it with his ordinary comfortable clothes, he asked his teacher, "So, I passed, right?"

"Huh?" Horrified that Kakashi had led him on all afternoon for nothing, he repeated,

"I passed, right?"

"Oh, that. Uh, no. You didn't."

"NANI?" Naruto yelled, about ready to kill Kakashi. He had enough stress and anger to. "Why the hell not? I did everything you told me to! I even dressed up in that stupid kimono! I deserve to pass!"

"No, that's not what I meant." Kakashi cleared the air. "I meant, none of you passed." Now he had three ninjas about ready to murder him. "There was no actual test," he admitted. "So how could you pass?"

Naruto jumped on him and made him crash to the ground. Sasuke used his Giant Fireball to burn him and Sakura sent his own dogs after him (the most damage they did, unfortunately, was to lick him). Naruto used _Mass Kage Bunshin no Jitsu_ so Kakashi had innumbrable Naruto's beating on him.

And that's what happens when you fool a ninja into dressing like a girl and being your maid.

_Owari!_

I only have one thing to say: YAMI, YOU BETTER LIKE THIS, OR I WILL FIND YOU AND SMACK YOU! This took me _forever_ to write, only because crappy fanfic after crappy fanfic emerged in between! So review it (to Yami and everyone) and thank ya for readin'!


End file.
